V
A middle aged Java developer is sitting in his cubicle, he's finally found the perfect name for the abstract class for the new feature he's been assigned, "Finally, let's bang this class out and then we can get to the factory factory implementation and then it'll only be a few more abstractions until I can get to the real stuff" he grumbled as he cracked his knuckles, tightened his tie, and put on his wrist braces and he began diligently pounding on his keyboard: abstract class AbstractRequestProcessorFactoryFactory.RequestSpeci, until all of a sudden a voice breaks through and dismantles the massive class hierarchy he had built up in his head. "Hey there suit, what are you working on there?" the guy who just finished the "Data Science" UDemy course a month ago lead data scientist said poking his head into the Java developers cubicle.
"God damnit... what was that class name again? I'm only half way through it.", the Java dev mumbled under his breath. "Yeah, I'm waiting on my sick new iPython notebook to get pushed up to jithub, so I figured I'd mosey on over to the corporate side and see what you're working on, see if you maybe need any graphs or tables my data science expertise, you know a little modern touch". The Java dev's shoulders tighten, "Not this fucking bullshit again, god damn Numpy does everything, you haven't taken a statistics course since high school you annoying shits" he thinks to himself.
"Oh, no I'm good, just working on building out the new request processor for the new backend for our core banking services, I don't need any 'data science', but I could use a few good QA guys to test that the requests aren't going to get doubled processed, and things like that". The data scientist, stifling a chuckle, "You mean unit tests? Good lord, you don't just have the output in the window and just check that it's right? What year is this? I figured they'd go for something more modern for the new system. You know Python has this library called Pandas right? The Pandas can do all that stuff for you, what the hell are you using that enterprise crap for?".
"Well, yeah I've heard Pandas is pretty good library, but for this critical system we thought to choose something that Larry Ellison conned the managers into buying a very expensive license for and we'd look like fucking idiots if we didn't use it more battle tested for enterprise workloads, and you know Java is statically typed so you don't have to worry abo-". The data scientist suddenly interrupts, "Hey, Jerry! Come here, get a load of this business man" he calls out to the guy that copy and pastes tensorflow snippets from the docs and SO all day the AI/Machine Learning specialist walking by. "Sure, I've got some time to do some time traveling to the 90s. I'm, *snorts*, training this new neural network classifier I copy and pasted wrote" Jerry the AI guy scoffed. As both the python developers drew closer to the java devs screen. "Mother fucker, why? I don't have time for dumb & dumber. I've got 7 meetings later and I'm still not even close to writing a concrete class." he thought.
"Woah, woah, woah. Check out your shit dude, how many lines is that? 300! That's pretty a pretty good job, given you're using an antique. But you know, it's the future now, you can probably find some shit on NPM that you can download that does all this shit for you, ya' know? I bet with a real language you could get that under 15 lines, then you'll almost be writing as little code as I do, wouldn't that be cool?" the AI guy said, trying to shove his way onto the computer. "Sure, I bet I could in that huge pile of shit, but since this is the core bank service, we don't want to be downloading random shit fro-".
"God damnit... what was that class name again? I'm only half way through it.", the Java dev mumbled under his breath. "Yeah, I'm waiting on my sick new iPython notebook to get pushed up to jithub, so I figured I'd mosey on over to the corporate side and see what you're working on, see if you maybe need any graphs or tables my data science expertise, you know a little modern touch". The Java dev's shoulders tighten, "Not this fucking bullshit again, god damn Numpy does everything, you haven't taken a statistics course since high school you annoying shits" he thinks to himself.
"Oh, no I'm good, just working on building out the new request processor for the new backend for our core banking services, I don't need any 'data science', but I could use a few good QA guys to test that the requests aren't going to get doubled processed, and things like that". The data scientist, stifling a chuckle, "You mean unit tests? Good lord, you don't just have the output in the window and just check that it's right? What year is this? I figured they'd go for something more modern for the new system. You know Python has this library called Pandas right? The Pandas can do all that stuff for you, what the hell are you using that enterprise crap for?".
"Well, yeah I've heard Pandas is pretty good library, but for this critical system we thought to choose something that Larry Ellison conned the managers into buying a very expensive license for and we'd look like fucking idiots if we didn't use it more battle tested for enterprise workloads, and you know Java is statically typed so you don't have to worry abo-". The data scientist suddenly interrupts, "Hey, Jerry! Come here, get a load of this business man" he calls out to the guy that copy and pastes tensorflow snippets from the docs and SO all day the AI/Machine Learning specialist walking by. "Sure, I've got some time to do some time traveling to the 90s. I'm, *snorts*, training this new neural network classifier I copy and pasted wrote" Jerry the AI guy scoffed. As both the python developers drew closer to the java devs screen. "Mother fucker, why? I don't have time for dumb & dumber. I've got 7 meetings later and I'm still not even close to writing a concrete class." he thought.
"Woah, woah, woah. Check out your shit dude, how many lines is that? 300! That's pretty a pretty good job, given you're using an antique. But you know, it's the future now, you can probably find some shit on NPM that you can download that does all this shit for you, ya' know? I bet with a real language you could get that under 15 lines, then you'll almost be writing as little code as I do, wouldn't that be cool?" the AI guy said, trying to shove his way onto the computer. "Sure, I bet I could in that huge pile of shit, but since this is the core bank service, we don't want to be downloading random shit fro-".